Heartbeat was 180 and all looked well.
I go back in 10 days for another appt
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
First ob appt
Had our first appt which showed baby deux will be making their arrival around April 5, 2016.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
We are pregnant again!
We found out about 2 weeks ago that we are pregnant again. I do not go to the doctor for another 2 weeks, and I will not actually publish this post for another 6-8 weeks (not sure exactly when) I do know, that once the cat is out of the bag, this blog will be flooded with a bunch of new posts that I have saved along my journey.
We are excited for baby Gray Deux, though I am extremely nervous as well. I get it now why moms say the 2nd baby is mixed emotions. How can I ever love something as much as I love JB. I mean, he is my world. I fear the new baby will disrupt him in ways I cannot even imagine, yet I know in the long run he will be so much happier with a sibling. He is so sweet to babies, though extremely jealous with anyone who wants my attention. I am hoping by 2 and 1/2 that will not be as strong, and with talking about it ahead of time that he will understand. Plus if he is still nursing he will get some really good milk and that will make him happy. At the moment my milk supply seems to have dropped a bit. Little one can still get the milk out but pumping is torture. My nipples are so sore, i feel like I am going through week 1-3 of nursing all over again.
At the moment I am taking in every cuddle I can. I know I should make him sleep alone but I cannot even imagine him being away from me at the moment. I fear Baby 2, will not get that 1 on 1 attention that baby 1 did. I fear that something will happen to the pregnancy and I am not sure I can bare that. I live in fear. I am exhausted, nauseous most days, I am trying to eat healthier this go around, I am trying make sure i exercise daily to keep my weight down. I definitely do not need another large baby due to me gaining too much weight. I am afraid to go to a new doctor, when we loved out old ones so much. So many emotions are running through me at the moment. Somehow I have learned to be much more calm, more kind more zen. My husband thinks i am a push over because I do not yell at our child and I give him choices. I like to think i am teaching him about emotions and how to control them. I do not want a child to obey, i want a child who learns respect, and empathy. A child that obeys, will always seek someone to obey when we are not around. I want our children to learn themselves. I have so many hopes and dreams for them both and at the same time am so afraid of the world we are bringing them into.
So far no cravings and some days I do not even realize i am pregnant. Those days i seem to freak out a bit. Though almost every day by the end of the day I am EXHAUSTED, like I cannot hold my eyes open exhausted.
We are excited for baby Gray Deux, though I am extremely nervous as well. I get it now why moms say the 2nd baby is mixed emotions. How can I ever love something as much as I love JB. I mean, he is my world. I fear the new baby will disrupt him in ways I cannot even imagine, yet I know in the long run he will be so much happier with a sibling. He is so sweet to babies, though extremely jealous with anyone who wants my attention. I am hoping by 2 and 1/2 that will not be as strong, and with talking about it ahead of time that he will understand. Plus if he is still nursing he will get some really good milk and that will make him happy. At the moment my milk supply seems to have dropped a bit. Little one can still get the milk out but pumping is torture. My nipples are so sore, i feel like I am going through week 1-3 of nursing all over again.
At the moment I am taking in every cuddle I can. I know I should make him sleep alone but I cannot even imagine him being away from me at the moment. I fear Baby 2, will not get that 1 on 1 attention that baby 1 did. I fear that something will happen to the pregnancy and I am not sure I can bare that. I live in fear. I am exhausted, nauseous most days, I am trying to eat healthier this go around, I am trying make sure i exercise daily to keep my weight down. I definitely do not need another large baby due to me gaining too much weight. I am afraid to go to a new doctor, when we loved out old ones so much. So many emotions are running through me at the moment. Somehow I have learned to be much more calm, more kind more zen. My husband thinks i am a push over because I do not yell at our child and I give him choices. I like to think i am teaching him about emotions and how to control them. I do not want a child to obey, i want a child who learns respect, and empathy. A child that obeys, will always seek someone to obey when we are not around. I want our children to learn themselves. I have so many hopes and dreams for them both and at the same time am so afraid of the world we are bringing them into.
So far no cravings and some days I do not even realize i am pregnant. Those days i seem to freak out a bit. Though almost every day by the end of the day I am EXHAUSTED, like I cannot hold my eyes open exhausted.
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